โ€œ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜„๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚โ€™๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ต ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ฟ, ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ผ, ๐—ป๐—ผ ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐˜‚๐˜๐—ฒ. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ด๐—ผ๐—ผ๐—ฑ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜„๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐˜€, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒโ€™๐˜€ ๐—ป๐—ผ ๐—ด๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฑ.โ€โ€Šโ€”โ€Š๐—–๐—ตรถ๐—ด๐˜†๐—ฎ๐—บ ๐—ง๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฝ๐—ฎ

The journey of awareness has been, in my experience, a graduating tolerance for uncertainty. Recently, this discussion has come up a lotโ€Šโ€”โ€Šso I figured Iโ€™d make a graphic for it here. โ˜บ๏ธ Like any evolution process, it is not linear, but these are the levels as Iโ€™ve lived & observed themโ€Šโ€” offered with the caveat, of course, that I know absolutely nothing.

I have experienced these levels much like the stages of griefโ€Šโ€”โ€Šwe do not really move from one and stay in the next, but rather hop between them all. Heck, sometimes even all in the same day. Even if we can touch the top level of uncertainly with peace and grace, residing there is aspirational, but problematic (here I think of Ani DiFrancoโ€™s song: Happy All the Time ๐Ÿ™ƒ) And in fact every time we find ourselves back in the basic admission of l DONโ€™T KNOW, there is in itself cause for celebration. The best part is, I believe our capacity for tolerating the unknown is directly correlated to our ability to receive miraclesโ€Šโ€” or at least to be pleasantly surprised. ๐Ÿ˜Œ

๐™„ ๐˜ฟ๐™Š๐™‰โ€™๐™ ๐™†๐™‰๐™Š๐™’ โ€ข the point of entry

Sometimes this comes with a shockโ€Šโ€” often with loss or failure. It is the crack in the veneer of the presentation of an orderly, predictable life where chaos, impermanence, and vulnerability seeps in. Itโ€™s natural that we grasp and strive at this point, often somewhat successfully, if temporarily, patching over the crack and going back to confident ignorance. This is the most pervasive and sweeping level, as we find it threads through many aspects of our experiencesโ€Šโ€” admitting it in one area leads to another, and another. Many people resist the ramifications of โ€œI donโ€™t knowโ€ so hard that they struggle with this level most of their lives. This statement alone takes tremendous courage.

๐™๐™ƒ๐˜ผ๐™ ๐™„๐™Ž ๐™‰๐™Š๐™ ๐™†๐™‰๐™Š๐™’๐™‰. โ€ข where sh!t gets real

As we learn to accept uncertainty in ourselves, we may try to seek elsewhere. We arrive at this level by way of disillusionment and disappointment seeing someone you admire (a lover or teacher or religious/social institution) fall off a pedestal and into their humanity. We become acutely, often painfully aware of hypocrisyโ€Šโ€” in others first (usually), and then, with any luck, also ourselves. This level asks us to give up authority, righteousness, agendas, judgements. We give up collective certainty, often pinging between belief systems trying to find shelter or soothing while we learn how to be naked. Weโ€™re learning to ask better questions. Rightness gives way to undefended preference.

๐™๐™ƒ๐˜ผ๐™ ๐™„๐™Ž ๐™๐™‰๐™†๐™‰๐™Š๐™’๐˜ผ๐˜ฝ๐™‡๐™€ โ€ข the ecstatic unraveling

While this level may hold a certain amount of existential dread, it also holds tremendous peace, and as we tickle the edge of it, even occasionally, we may start to feel immense relief. We become better acquainted with paradox. No one is flying this circus, which can feel scary, but also liberating. Old. religious paradigms dissolve into a more direct and personal perception of the Divine. I think of the poem Tripping over Joy by Hafiz, the face of the laughing Buddha, and optimistic nihilism. This is the shift of perspective from โ€œno one cares.๐Ÿ˜žโ€ to โ€œno one cares!๐Ÿคชโ€ Understanding anticipation is folly and even that even asking creates limitations, we may swap โ€œmanifestingโ€ practices for those of acceptance and surrender. We may pray not for abundance but for provisionโ€Šโ€” our asking gets much more simplistic, and our expression much more expandedโ€ฆ because, why not?

โ€ข

โ€œ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐˜๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐—บ ๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ธ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ธ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐—ป๐—ผ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด.โ€ โ€”๐—ฆ๐—ผ๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜๐—ฒ๐˜€

human : beauty alchemist : poet @Crown_Worksยฎ

Recommended from Medium

27 Things I learnt by my 27th Bday!

How to Feel Happy Everyday

ascending the down staircase

Theme: NO BOUNDARIES

How to Boost Charitable Giving

Bullet Proof At 77

What I have learnt from the lockdown period | Part 1

Creating a Successful Life/Career for Self and Others | Coaching Blog โ€” Professional Training

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Andi Scarbrough

Andi Scarbrough

human : beauty alchemist : poet @Crown_Worksยฎ

More from Medium

What Archerโ€™s dysfunctional cartoon spy team gets right

More details about the SpiritDAO presale event

https://linktr.ee/GhostsHalloween

Clubhouse X Ted Talks